According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a metaphor is an idea that is used as a symbol of something. When we are talking about love, it's very common the use of some metaphors such as "we fall in love", "I have a crush on him", "we burn with passion", "I'm crazy in love", "my heart is broken" and those are just a few examples. Therefore the idea of the experience of loving someone is most of the times related to violence, ilness or madness.
Thinking about these associations, Mandy Len Catron tries to figure out how this happened. "How have we come to associate love with great pain and suffering?", she asked in her TEDx conference.
When we fall in love, we expected to feel miserable, because somehow we think that this legitimizes the feelings we have for our partner. We want to have all the dramatic and devastated experiences. We don't even care if all of this is ruining ourselves and our relationships. It's just the way that we think how love works.
As a result we have metaphors that are reinforcing these ideas about love related to pain, madness and addiction. However, the linguistics Mark Johnson and George Lakoff suggest in their book, "Metaphors We Live By", a new metaphor for love: love as a collaborative work of art.
Consequently, this new metaphor has a new idea about the experience of loving someone. Compromise, patience and shared goals could be come of the new synonymous for love.
To sum up, this new metaphor brings the idea that love is creative. It requires discipline for the both sides. Sometimes it could be frustrated, it could envolve joy and pain, but it's still better than thinking about it as madness. This version of love, as Catron said, allows us to decide what love looks like.